U BESS MASSA-Jie.

Words flow like a rusty old broken faucet delivers water- there are none. This I come to expect from the ruff and gruff Korean lady with 3 names that all sound like some sort of strange body sound.

She greets me with nothing.

"Hi My name is David Gordon, I am your physical therapist, it is a pleasure to meet you" I extend my hand.

There is no reach, no thought of reaching, no thought of extending my hand. I have insulted her perhaps and her customs...?

I half bow, it is too late she has gathered her stuff and practically pushed me aside, she has made her decision about me....

but at least she accepts the appointment and heads for the rear treatment number letter A.... in this case for Anal Wind...but we will get to that later.


I start my eval, I talk I ask questions.

PAHNGH

Pahngh

she points to her back and her knees...

there is no english

NO ENGRESH

I ask questions like an idiot, she reaches for her phone....

I take a look out to the massage therapist and Mike and we are all laughing...

She holds this bright powder blue umbrella, I wonder what kind of shit she could do with it.

She wears old school Asian gear, I don't know the names but it's silky and with very ornate patterns...

she has caked on white makeup and ruby red lips stick her black eyes rip through me from behind sally jesse rapheal glasses, her hair is in a bun with the whole chopstick thing in her hair.

she is in her 70's walks hunched over and to the R. She limps like a bastard pirate with a wooden leg.

I get a couple answers from her sister who is on the cell phone now....

I just tell her to lay on the table.

3 treatments later, we barely communicate, some mild pleasentries but she is still looking at me like I gave a cross glance or something.

Until suddenly during an aggressive hamstrings stretch... she farts like a dude. big time gas man, big time.

She laughs.

She stops; I kinda ignore it. In my head and heart I'm dying but I ignore it.

At the end of this treatment, She has huge smile on her face and points a big ass finger at me...and says


U BESS MASSA-JIE

BESS

and she is all smiles as she walks out the door with a little less limp in her step.