A true Adventure

Alright here is a little story I call. Alewa Heights. Pronounced Ahh Ley Vah.

So I speak with this woman about an apartment to share in a area north of honolulu on a mountainside, it's away from the beaches more centrally located.

The pics of the place do not do it justice, it is super spacious bamboo flooring all nice new furniture.

But before I describe, I have yet to see it, so I call and agree to meet at like 730 at her place. She is from Thailand and her name is Chandida. (pronounced shanndeeda) I think it's like your name shannon.

So the accent is a little difficult to understand especially at first, but she is really cool and nice and she gives me pretty solid directions, I mean really really good and she even spelled out the words to me because when you get directions with Hawaiian street names your cooked because you have no idea.

So I quickly leave the other apartment and run 10 blocks to get to mine, but actually I walk, because I'm exhausted, hot, sweaty, and have a severe case of crotch rot. I mean I need some vaseline quick to ease all the friction between my legs my crotch and my feet which are now blistered. Sorry for the visuals but seriously, applying baby powder as a means of a quick cheat shower does not work and it just created Heat in places that didn't need no heat!

I decide there is no way I'm going all the way up there in my current condition...I take a real shower (i know you are all proud)

Feeling awesome refreshed and covered in more vaseline then a wrestler-I roll out on my scooter. I can't remember where I parked the thing. It has failed me many times thus far, I had to turn one in because the battery died a bit forcing me to start via a kinda tricky, finicky kick start that usually floods the thing forcing me to wait.

So I get a new scooter, which I locked to a bicycle rack some where.

it's like 645 on friday and I'm off with kinda half assed directions to the Pali Highway. I need to get there to pick up her directions.

So I'm flying around enjoying the cool crisp breeze, thank you long sleeve shirt. I'm lost in a minute taking a wrong turn because as many of you know I cannot see. At night trying to identify street names- I might as well be blind.

I turn around.

Ok got it.

I get lost again, wrong turn.

I turn around

I get lost again

I turn around in a gas station, figuring as I'm out of gas as well it makes sense to ask someone for directions and get gas.

POOF my first friggin Cockroach at the gas station startles me. It's reddish brown and about 2.5 inches long with hugh Antennae. It has no fear for me man. I just kinda keep moving away from it doing a little dance as I overfill my Scooter and gas comes splashing all over the bike. The Cockroach does not fear gas. (I contemplate lighting the gas tank and seeing if the cockroach fears that, but then again I value my layers of skin so I refrain)

I get directions I'm on my way.

I get lost again.

I ask a driver next to me to get to the Pali,

what?

how do I get to the pali?

what?

how do I get to the Pali?

what?....this goes on for a moment then she gives me a local version of directions. I give her the come on man kind look; she tells me to follow her.

I get lost again.

I ask a man on the street and it's only a little further. One more left than a right.

So I step on it because for some reason I'm in a rush and a little heated.

I fly through a gigantic intersection (mind you it's nightime) and take a left.

I don't see the island/divider....I do see a car merging right and taking my route away from me.

45mph I fly over the island, it's too late. I hold on for dear life and brace myself pushing most of my weight to the back of the bike. Evil fucking Kanevil.

I fucking made it, then I have to cut off the other car and get in a right hand lane. I fucking make it....

I am in a cold sweat now and laughing heavily out loud. But I am shaken.

I pull over and catch up with my old friend cockroach who is on the side of the road... I breathe pretty fast, my heart racing.

"You wanted an adventure" I say to myself out loud like an insane person.

I gather myself and inform Chandida of my status and enter the Pali Highway.

CRAZY, cars merging left and right and I'm on a little scooter, I'm pushing this thing to the red line trying to keep up and get away from traffic.

I make it up a hill another hill another hill another hill and get to the place.

Really nice, have a ice cream called a Mocka (sp) imagine a scoop of icecream wrapped in dough. I talk to Chandida's Hoale boyfriend (Hoale means whitey in Hawaii) he is funny kinda jaded and cynnical about hawaii and asks many questions. He's kinda slow with a slight souther draw and speaks and moves like the dude in the big lebowski. He wears khaki's and a aloha shirt.

we talk movies, we talk Asian and Hawaiian culture and the pros and cons of Hawaii and the pros and cons of living where they live. They tell me they haven't been to the beach in like 6 years...my jaw drops?

they are tired of the tourism and bullshit about Hawaii.

we talk for a while as I get the tour, they ask all sorts of questions and I explain my move to Hawaii.

I ask about bugs, they laugh at me. They tell me you probably won't even see a roach up here.

I ask about using a scooter the whole time, they laugh at me.

They get some references and I leave.

My scooter fails me. It does not work again. It's a new one. I kick start...after like 4 attempts I get it going.

I drive down a hill and around a bend then I stop to consult my directions. My Scooter stalls out. 15 attempts later and it will not start, people watch me from windows, dogs bark, things chirp.

I decide to ride it in neutral down a big hill and try to get as far as I can and let it rest.

I get to the bottom... It doesn't start. It's late on a friday night, I am way away from where I live.

Finally I get it started and haul ass out of there. At every stop I fear it stalling out.

I make it home find some random spot to park and go to bed. Breathe



The Kitchen is like a dream come true type kitchen, i mean it is sick... cool sick with handy removable sprayer for good cleaning (shit I do not live with mom anymore so I will have to clean) a huge island, granite countertops, all new stainless steel appliances, a special dishwasher (yes) and a wine refrigerator (i don't know what to call it)

The lanai (pronounced La Nye) is awesome with rich amber/red wood, it's covered with a large coconut tree and small yard in the back...

My room has giganto windows and an not quite walk in size closet.

My own bathroom which is impressive even though I would have to walk to through an office to get to it, which may or may not be cool?

Really pretty, in a heavy heavy houses on top of each other section.